MADISON, Wis. (WSAW) – You, your friends, and your family may have very different comfort levels when it comes to social gatherings during the pandemic.

A doctor with the UW Health System says emotional protective equipment is just as important as masks and gloves. Everyone has different boundaries for being in groups and making yours known is a step towards staying mentally healthy during the pandemic.

Shilagh Mirgain, Ph.D. says it’s important not to judge what may make others uncomfortable. She says it can be difficult to navigate canceling plans that do not follow health guidelines. but there are certain ways to politely say “no” to social gatherings that are outside your comfort zone.

“This is not the time to just be polite and just go along with what other people want. When you’re saying no, you’re really setting a boundary to keep yourself safe and keep others safe, and when you’re saying no, I always say, ‘No is a complete sentence,’” she said. “Having that ‘no’ button you can press, but then you can also suggest some alternatives. ‘Instead of doing this in person, maybe we can do this virtually,’ or, ‘Gosh, I would love to, but let’s save that for next year.’”

As some kids head back to school, Mirgain suggests parents discuss boundaries with their kids so they know how to communicate their comfort levels. She says role-playing can be helpful to make sure they know what to say when pressured into social gatherings or wearing or not wearing a mask.

Mirgain says peer pressure can also be positive and leading by example when it comes to following guidelines can help keep the community safe.

She says it’s also important to make sure you’re taking time to get rid of anxiety by being in the present moment.

“It’s very easy to get into doom and gloom thinking, and start to catastrophize and lose touch with the moment. Instead, we can do something as simple as practicing mindfulness, a ‘take 5’ practice of just counting quietly up to 5, can help us calm the mind, calm the body,” she said.

Some may find it helpful to visualize a time when the pandemic is over.

“You see yourself in the future, a year or two from now, and then think back on this current moment. How would that future self want you to navigate this? What would that future self even tell your grandchildren?” she said.

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