It was trick-or-treat Sunday in the NFL. 

The 49ers rang the bell at Soldier Field, hung 33 on the Chicago Bears and left with their first win in almost two months. Kyle Shanahan’s treat? No quarterback questions after Jimmy Garoppolo’s stellar performance. 

Elsewhere, Bill Belichick tormented Justin Herbert for the second consecutive season, and the greatest trick the Jets ever pulled was convincing the Bengals they didn’t need to take Mike White seriously. Four hundred and five yards and one embarrassing loss later, the Bengals surely won’t forget the name Mike White any time soon. 

We have a new No. 1 for the first time in three weeks. And, yes, the bad man is indeed back.

32. Detroit Lions (0-8): If Jared Goff is your quarterback, you need a new quarterback. 

31. Houston Texans (1-7): The only positive thing about this Texans season is that, at some point, it will end. 

30. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6): Urban Meyer said he was shocked the Jags were pantsed by the Seahawks on Sunday, citing the good week of practice they had. Perhaps, he was at a different practice?

29. Miami Dolphins (1-7): Things could be worse in Miami. The Dolphins could be thinking about trading for a star QB who has 22 civil sexual misconduct lawsuits filed against him and might never play in the NFL again.  

28. New York Jets (2-5): LET THE MIKE WHITE ERA BEGIN!

27. Washington Football Team (2-6): In their last two games, the WFT has 772 yards of total offense and only 20 points. I’m not even sure how that’s possible.  

26. New York Giants (2-5): A win Monday night and the Giants are right back in the NFC playoff picture. Horrible loss incoming. 

25. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5): Nick Sirianni finally decided to run the ball Sunday against the Lions. It worked, but can the Eagles do it against a team with a pulse?

24. Seattle Seahawks (3-5): Geno Smith was good enough to beat the Jags and the Seahawks head into the bye week still with a playoff pulse. No news yet on where the new finger is at for Russell Wilson, though. 

23. Atlanta Falcons (3-4): With the Braves on the cusp of a title, the Falcons had to fall flat Sunday against the Panthers. Only one Atlanta sports team can prosper at a time. It is law. 

22. Chicago Bears (3-5): Justin Fields looked like Justin Fields without Matt Nagy around. Coincidence? 

21. Denver Broncos (4-4): Denver now has beaten the Jaguars, Jets, Giants and Football Team. Yawn. 

20. Minnesota Vikings (3-4): I don’t want to hear about Kirk Cousins being a good QB for at least a month after Sunday’s pitiful performance. 

19. Indianapolis Colts (3-5): The Colts’ season was always going to go as far as Frank Reich and Carson Wentz carried them. On Sunday, in a must-win game against the Titans, Reich and Wentz buried the Colts with inept play-calling and inexcusable mistakes. 

18. Carolina Panthers (4-4): Stephon Gilmore shut down Kyle Pitts and picked off Matt Ryan in his Panthers debut Sunday. Any time you can get an All-Pro corner for a sixth-round pick you should do it.

17. San Francisco 49ers (3-4): The old Jimmy Garoppolo returned Sunday in a win over the Bears while Trey Lance became adept at using a Microsoft Surface. However, the win over the Bears only matters if they back it up next week.

RELATED: Grades for 49ers’ win over the Bears

16. Kansas City Chiefs (3-4): We’ll find out a lot about where the 2021 Chiefs are headed by how they come out Monday night against the Giants. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. 

15. Cleveland Browns (4-4): Is it possible both teams lost the OBJ trade? Because the Browns sure as hell didn’t win it. 

14. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-3): That’s three in a row for the Steelers and Big Ben’s corpse. Their next two games are against the Bears and Lions. The Steelers are going to make the playoffs, aren’t they?

13. Los Angeles Chargers (4-3): Justin Herbert’s two worst games as a pro have come against Bill Belichick. Mark the Patriots down as a team the Bolts would like to avoid come January. 

12. New England Patriots (4-4): Early-season losses to the Bucs and Cowboys showed the Patriots they can compete with the best. Sunday’s win over the Chargers showed they are learning to beat the best. Look out, Bill Belichick ain’t dead yet. 

11. New Orleans Saints (5-2): The Saints need a QB, but Drew Brees is staying at NBC. So, who can get the Saints from 5-2 to the playoffs with Jameis Winston out? Because it’s not Taysom Hill or Trevor Siemian. 

10. Cincinnati Bengals (5-3): I don’t want to hear about controversial calls. After a whole week of being the AFC’s new darlings, the Bengals rolled into East Rutherford and let Mike White undress them. Can’t happen if you want to be taken seriously. 

9. Las Vegas Raiders (5-2): Don’t look now, but the calendar is turning to November. Can the Raiders avoid a third straight late-season collapse?

8. Tennessee Titans (6-2): It’s Week 8 and the Titans have all but wrapped up the AFC South. They can make a statement they are legitimate Super Bowl contenders next Sunday against the Rams. 

7. Baltimore Ravens (5-2): The AFC North still runs through Baltimore until the Bengals show me they can beat Mike White.

6. Dallas Cowboys (6-1): Cooper Rush, folk hero or Cowboys QB? Why not both?

5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-2): The Bucs have nine games left and only two currently are against teams with winning records. That should give them enough runway to sort through the issues that plagued them Sunday in a loss to *checks notes* Trevor Siemian. 

4. Buffalo Bills (5-2): Josh Allen credited Phil Mickelson for the Bills’ second-half turnaround Sunday. No one tell Phil, his head is almost as big as his calves. 

3. Los Angeles Rams (7-1): The schedule-makers gave the Rams a gift with back-to-back games against the Lions and Texans. They’ll have to play real football next week against the Titans. 

2. Arizona Cardinals (7-1): The Cardinals were bound to lose but doing so because A.J. Green’s controller came unplugged is a tough pill to swallow. 

1. Green Bay Packers (7-1): Aaron Rodgers was John Wick for Halloween. Yeah, I’m thinking he’s back.