Money makes Indian weddings go spherical

Weddings are costly, I knew that in an summary form of means. The final time I attended a marriage in India was 30 years in the past when my brother bought married. It is a complete completely different ball recreation nowadays. In the U.S., the national average cost of a wedding in 2023 was $35,000, based on TheKnot.com. According to the Wedding Report, the average cost of a wedding in San Francisco with 200 to 300 guests is between $54,409 and $66,499.  But Indian weddings are in a stratosphere,  pushing ₹2 crores (~ $250,000) a bit.  The Confederation of All India Traders (CAIT) estimates that about ₹4.25 trillion was spent in simply 23 days of the Indian marriage ceremony season between November 23 and December 15, 2023! 

The Ambanis will not be the one ones letting free their pursestrings in India. Professional occasion planners and make-up artists, days of festivities stuffed with leisure and in depth world delicacies, and gorgeous designer outfits for the bride and shut household,  all appear de rigueur nowadays. From themed nights with mates main as much as the large day, to reside performances on the sangeet, sheer luxurious and out-of-the-box concepts have gotten the norm. The religious union of a younger couple is a chance for a household reunion, with relations and the diaspora touring from far and wide to bless the couple. 

‘The Wedding of the Century’ 

In February this 12 months, I bought a first-hand dekho of what all of the fuss was about. Thirty years since my brother bought married, my nephew, Dishang Shah, had his personal Insta-worthy Gujarati marriage ceremony in Mumbai, which I dubbed,  “the wedding of the century”. 

This marriage ceremony was not only a lavish celebration, however an opportunity for my sister, Falguni Shah, and her husband, Jaymin, to resume traditions, and for the couple and their households to mix their tastes and preferences. All six of them – each units of oldsters and the couple– would go collectively to buy every little thing, from decorations to taste-testing menus. It was a good way to bond and compromise, to change into mates. Indian weddings are inclusive. “You have to invite everyone you know,” my sister Falguni insisted. 

The Shah-Shah marriage ceremony extravaganza had six fetes at 5 places, spanning 5 days. 

Handwritten invitations deliver on an previous world attraction

The celebration began three weeks earlier than the marriage day, with a kankotri writing occasion. In the previous, pre-social media days, 5 senior-most males in a household can be invited to the bride’s or groom’s residence to handwrite the marriage playing cards that have been personally distributed to mates and relations. My sister revived the custom by internet hosting a bigger gathering with large fanfare and lunch. Floor pillows to take a seat on, ornate bakda’s (small stools), and quill pens to be dipped in pink ink, have been arrange. The 5 males wore turbans and began the ceremonial writing of 30 printed playing cards addressed to shut household. The first card is all the time addressed to God. Men and ladies have been invited; nevertheless, solely the boys wrote the invitations. The hand-addressed invitations have been then hand-delivered with mithai (sweets), candies, and a 20 gram silver coin. The remainder of the 1000-ish of us have been invited through WhatsApp or messages adopted by a private cellphone name asking them to grace the event. 

An opportunity to bond

I discovered every occasion a social event, an opportunity to satisfy with shut family and friends each day, main as much as the marriage day. Dishang’s and his bride Richa’s is an organized marriage, so these events have been tailored for the 2 prolonged households to bond with one another. It can be an opportunity for the bride and groom to familiarize themselves with their in-laws. Each night for a couple of week main as much as the large day, mates and relations come over, bearing candies and snacks, consuming them collectively and enhancing the festive ambiance of a shaadi ka ghar (marriage ceremony home). 

Every evening after dinner, we might meet in my sister’s constructing compound to apply our dance choreography for the sangeet. Each group performing—cousins, household, college mates, dad and mom’ shut mates, mother-daughter – would meet with the choreographer, Avni, who with infinite persistence endeavored to show two left-footed non-dancers some Bollywood strikes to impress the couple. This was probably the most enjoyable, when everybody met after dinner to apply their strikes, laughing and joking about; a time stuffed with a lot bonhomie! On the final apply finale night, roadside chaat distributors have been known as to cater pani-puri, bhel, and sandwiches.

The subsequent massive occasion was the Mameru, also called Mosaalu. The ceremony befell two days earlier than the marriage day. In this ceremony, the maternal uncle (mama) of the groom arrives together with his aspect of the household, bearing presents for the groom, his dad and mom, and prolonged relations. quickly adopted the haldi ceremony, the normal making use of of turmeric on the couple for good luck. On today the mama additionally fingers the groom the sriphal (coconut) that he’ll take to the marriage mandap. Prior to the mameru, the groom’s dad’s household performs a small ceremony and ties a pink Mata No Chandarvo or ‘Canopy of the Goddess’ outdoors the marriage residence. The custom of Mata ni Pachedi (Gujarati for ‘behind the goddess’) was developed by the nomadic tribe of Vaghris in Gujarat. It is believed that as a result of the tribe was barred from getting into village temples, they got here up with the ingenious resolution of portray the Goddess Durga on a fabric, hanging it on the rear of the temple, and worshiping her picture. 

While reviving traditions was necessary for Falguni and Jaymin at their solely son’s marriage ceremony, involving all of the elders of their household was extra necessary. I seen this created a number of goodwill; the marriage grew to become extra of an “our” than “their” event. I seen that exact consideration was given to my American-born son, Rajiv, who was fascinated by all of the traditions and rituals. Everyone took time to clarify to him the explanations behind the completely different rituals. 

Mehendi

The subsequent day was the large mehndi ceremony for the visitors. This is normally an all-women affair, with knowledgeable MC who will get everybody concerned with video games and songs. The host household normally will get their mehendi utilized a day earlier than as theirs could be very elaborate and time-consuming.  Also, cured mehendi fingers make for simpler interactions with visitors on the mehendi occasion!

The ‘siders’ and the ‘heavy siders’

Day 4 was the Sangeet on the Wankhede Stadium in Mumbai. My sister, her sister-in-law, and I arrived on the venue at 2 p.m. to prepare. Note that the sangeet was to begin at 7 p.m., and sure it does take that lengthy for the make-up artists to work their magic on us. Anyone who isn’t the bride is known as a “sider”. The mom of the groom/bride is a “heavy sider,” which signifies to the make-up artist that extra consideration must be paid to her hair and make-up. The three make-up artists, one for every of us, who dressed us for all the marriage occasions, got here armed with an entire plan and equipment to make sure that our “look” was completely different for every day. And they don’t come low cost; my sister admits shelling out near  ₹65,000 (~$800).   

World Cuisine

The menu for the mehendi and the marriage was in depth. The world delicacies menu spanned Thai, Mexican, Chinese, and Nepalese, in addition to reside stations making sizzling South Indian dosas and idlis, conventional North Indian fare, seven sorts of ice-creams and Indian mithais, all served in new and thrilling combos. The hosts have been decided to impress the wedding-savvy crowd that had attended a number of such events in the course of the “wedding season” in India. 

The Big Day

Day 5 was the pièce de résistance—the marriage. It was epic! It began with the groom’s baraat arriving for the marriage ceremony, amid plenty of dancing and singing as he entered with a parade of his family members. This was adopted by the pokwanu and tilak ceremonies, signifying the bride’s household welcoming the groom.

Dishang and Richa’s out of doors seaside ceremony venue had a pale pink and white décor, with a novel glass stage set amid tall palm bushes. Several cabanas dotted the area with bluish- pink lighting to set the temper. Special areas have been marked for visitors to take photos to share on social media. The meals was arrange in an enormous U-shape with reside meals stations on one aspect and desserts allotted their very own part.

The groom’s entry, adopted by the bride’s, with dry ice smoke slowly rising, was a sight to behold! The music rose to a crescendo as they arrived. A row of pyrotechnic flares dotted the stage accompanied by cannons showering flower petals on the couple. Pinwheel flares lit up the stage behind them. The Hindu ceremony was carried out round a sacred fireplace, the place the couple took seven rounds (saath phere) circling the holy fireplace. 

The marriage ceremony ceremony was adopted by a reception, the place the newlywed couple have been congratulated on stage by family and friends. 

Indian weddings have elevated in scale and aptitude, however on the finish of the day, it was only a household marriage ceremony for us. It introduced us nearer to one another, first with all of the planning, then in the course of the marriage ceremony with all of the continuous partying, and after after we sat pouring over the skilled images and movies, reliving what was the most effective experiences of our lives.  

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