Ricardo Quaresma’s transfer to Vitoria de Guimaraes has been announced with the kind of pomp and ceremony that the man deserves, in a video full of self-aggrandisement.

At the end of that season, he was given the Bidone d’Oro in Serie A – an award that recognises the most disappointing player in the top division.

However, he won the European Championship with Portugal in 2016 and has claimed multiple league titles in different countries, namely with Sporting Lisbon, Porto, Inter and Besiktas.

And this week, the 36-year-old veteran winger joined the Primeira Liga side from Turkish outfit Kasimpasa SK. So let’s take a deep dive into this announcement video to end all announcement videos.

After the opening shots of Quaresma and the castle, the first really remarkable moment occurs when we’re given a fleeting shot of a scroll named ‘The Marauder’s Map’.

This is one for the Harry Potter fans out there who will recognise this as a document that reveals the layout of Hogwarts School.

We’re not really sure how Quaresma came to have that coveted document in his possession, but fans of the ‘magician’ on the pitch will recognise it as a nod to his nickname, Harry Potter.

Next, a butler brings in a house phone on a silver platter for Quaresma to take a call – presumably from his agent. Again, this is all a bit bewildering.

Who uses a house phone in 2020?

How does a disconnected telephone actually function?

Ah, magic, presumably.

After Quaresma has put his shiny new Vitoria shirt on, the same butler hands over the keys to a sports car. A close-up on the badge reveals it’s a mustang. But this isn’t just a really clunky piece of product placement, it’s another knowing wink to camera. Mustang is another of Quaresma’s nicknames – so-called for his speed and power.

Quaresma declines the offer of a spin in the super car, instead preferring to travel by… horseback.

Why? We’re not sure.

We are just hoping for scenes of him arriving for training at his new club on that horse in due course.