Bewildered, I requested, “You mean, how old am I?”

“Yes,” she mentioned.

“50.”

“You would be joining a young, progressive team, but you look much younger, so I think you’d fit in just fine,” she mentioned.

My pleasure turned to apprehension as we wrapped up the interview.

Driving residence, her unsettling phrases enjoying in my head, I remembered the résumé suggestions I’d acquired from an employment company a month earlier. “Remove the dates to avoid age bias,” they’d mentioned. Anxiety welled up in me. Was it potential that my age might hinder me from job alternatives? The thought terrified me.

That night time, I shared my interview expertise with my companion.

“That’s ridiculous,” he mentioned. “You’re still youthful, full of energy, and have a lot to offer.”

Despite his efforts to cheer me up, our troublesome historical past hung between us. Considering that we hadn’t been intimate in years, and our relationship felt prefer it was on the point of collapse, I couldn’t assist however ponder whether my age had performed a component in that, too. The mounting proof weighed on me.

As the weeks went on—and I didn’t get the place—I continued my job search and writing pursuits, however my confidence waned. With disappointment and self-doubt as my fixed companions, I felt like a idiot for even attempting. It appeared apparent that at my age, I wasn’t going to be anybody’s first selection.

A month later, anxious, depressed, and caught, I went to see a therapist for assist. A seasoned psychotherapist with a grasp’s diploma in counseling and a certificates in marriage and household remedy, he listened patiently.

“It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy emotional burden trying to navigate the complexities of midlife, age discrimination, and problems in your relationship,” he mentioned.

I breathed a deep sigh of reduction and gratitude simply listening to him validate what I’d been going via.

As the session went on, my therapist—who ordinarily used a mixture of cognitive behavioral and family systems therapy—instructed me a few new remedy he’d integrated into his apply referred to as “cinematherapy.”

He described cinematherapy as a creative instrument that exposes people to their difficulties via characters in films who’re coping with comparable points, thus encouraging purchasers to see their challenges in a distinct mild. He requested whether or not I’d be keen to strive it.