I wanted to hear that “Zing!” again. I had bought a set of Top Flight clubs at Dick’s Sporting Goods years ago thinking I should take up this sport that everybody talks about as being so relaxing. A great way to get back in touch with nature. Quiet. Challenging more mentally than physically.

“If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron,” Lee Trevino once said. “Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”

After practicing at the driving range in Crab Orchard Golf Club in Carterville, I figured I would be OK off the tee and pretty good around the green, but I was terrified of the mid-range irons game. I hadn’t really swung anything but the driver and the 7-iron during my practice a few months ago, but I was confident I would be able to hit the ball.

I was wrong. I whiffed so many times I thought my friend was going to want to move on to the next shot, but he was just the opposite. We didn’t have anybody behind us, so he let me try a few times, and helped me replace the divots of my morale along with the actual tuffs of grass. When I did hit those little white dimpled devils, they went straight right as if they had a dinner to get to. I almost hit two guys walking along a cart path that I didn’t even think I had to worry about, because my tee shot went straight toward the opposite fairway.