By Austin Seck

An online ‘entertainment evaluator’ going under the moniker ‘GossipGirly2k’ has published an expose detailing their experiences in Durham nightclubs as ‘exact carbon copies of one another’.

This shocking report, which includes claims that The Killers’ ‘Mr Brightside’ and ABBA’s ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!’ are played in Durham every night, also features a testimonial from a resident DJ who performs weekly at ‘Not Sunday Night Klute’ (for legal reasons).

“Yeah I just pop on ‘Midnight City’ and ‘All Star’, the crowd loves it, the music gets them riled up. You then finish off with ‘Angels’ or ‘That’s Amore’ and they get all sobby and sentimental.

“Yeah, I make about 40 quid weekly and just use the same playlist every time. You can find it on Spotify actually. It’s called ‘Songs that make White People Turnt’. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.”

The team reached out to different nightclub establishments for comment, but none are yet to make an official statement. Word on the grapevine is that there is a Taylor Swift x Nickelback-themed night in the works right now, which is totally going to be a gamechanger in the Durham night scene.

Image: flicker