It seems irreconcilable to associate risk, danger and humiliation with entertainment. This isn’t necessarily so when entertainment is pure fantasy, or attended by a lack of humane empathy. Such entertainment includes race car drivers a fender bender away from a careening fireball, as contact sports where the risk of disabling injuries is an inherent part of the game. Viewers chortle at deprecating pratfalls, the hallmark of America’s Funniest Home Videos. But for COVID-19, a movie featuring a raging global pandemic might have rivaled the likes of  “Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man” and Attack of the “Killer Tomatoes.” COVID-19 is a real ninja mutant virus. It is equipped with a rapid fire corona Gatling gun. To date its rapid fire spiked spheres have infected approximately 23 million victims, including up to 800,000 deaths, decimated tens of millions of jobs, businesses and industries. It has shaken entire nations with seismic upheavals of economic and political instability. The mutant ninja virus is a clubfoot rammed into the fragile glass slipper of housing and home schooling sliding down the slippery slope of unemployment. It is an apocalyptic Grim Reaper.

When barriers separating fiction from reality crumble, viral Scissorhands could be members of our immediate family, friends, as those intimately connected by faith, sports, and innumerable other social and occupational links. The widening trail of COVID-19 is littered with the critically ill on ventilators clinging to the brittle breath of life while lingering in a nightmare of isolation from loved ones. There is however a more pervasive silent ogre stalking humanity. Prolonged social isolation, the lurking fear of contagion, and uncertainties of what life has in store, are pathological millstones which lead to deep depression.

On the other hand, the adventure, excitement and suspense of entertainment is an effective nostrum diverting the psychological pits of depression during the COVID-19 pandemic. Entertainment displaces the anxiety of harsh reality with adventure, art and drama. Live concerts, theater, and athletic events are but a few examples. These diversions currently are either entirely canceled, postponed, or attenuated by social distancing. The mutant ninja virus is a heavy curling stone kept in motion by sweeping patrons into its path at densely attended gatherings. Stay at home television logically ought to be the most viable and compatible choice of entertainment during a pandemic. With a few notable exceptions, this summer’s televised programming is so bleak as to tweak COVID-19. The use of the “N word” is conspicuous by its absence in TV listings (the “N word” refers to “new”). Reruns are deja PU!, stale as flat beer. “To Tell the Truth,” many of the “new” shows are feeble excuses pawned off under the guise of entertainment. Balls erratically ricochet down “The Wall” of absurdity. Flashing demons dare to “Press Your Luck.” “The Match Game” has been recast with starry eyed, love-smitten bachelors and bachelorettes pursuing fairy tale romantic love in the naked arena of public voyeurism. “Holey Moley!” The game show “Don’t” succinctly exemplifies the point. Moreover, inane and redundant programming is burdened by layers of insufferable advertising. The icing on the neurological spongiform encephalopathy cake includes many layers, including incessant lawyer, pharmaceutical and insurance ads. Derisive and divisive political diatribes are de rigueur. Casino and internet gambling ads spin win sin, luring the addicted and despondent.

A demolition derby is an option to displace the current televised entertainment vacuum. It does not involve growling high revving jalopies smashing into each other.  In this demolition derby television sets are smashed flatter than a flat screen hemorrhaging pixels of anemic programming. Entertainment opportunities exist to provide psychologically uplifting diversion. These include a leisurely walk in the splendor of nature, reading a good book, taking up a creative or challenging hobby, and most importantly, serving others and revisiting the spiritual inner self to gird the energy needed to harness the future, whatever course it may take. The pent-up frustrations generated by COVID-19 can be vented, restoring a measure of clam, relief and tranquility in these depressing times. Healthy diversions are just what a good doctor (aka shrink) would order to therapeutically immunize the neurological system against the challenges, hardships and uncertainties attending pandemic pandemonium.

Ralph Josephsohn is a longtime resident of Longmont and a semi-retired attorney.