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I got teary eyed as I watched from the stands. My daughter was smiling, laughing even, as she and her teammates cheered each other on.
Over the summer, my daughter decided she wanted to stop playing soccer. I understood. She had injured her knee participating in the sport and never really regained her confidence out on the field.
She lost the joy of playing, so when she told me she no longer wanted to play, I listened. I agreed it was time to move on and suggested she try a new sport: Volleyball.
At first, she was hesitant. But, after a week-long camp, she took a liking to it.
Going to her games has been refreshing. The environment is uplifting. For starters, the kids all cheer non-stop for one another. If someone makes a mistake, no one yells. Instead, they lift each other up.
There are no parents lobbying for their kids to be on the “right” team. Instead, there is lots of clapping and cheering from the stands. No one is screeching at the officials. Rather, they are supportive.
In other words, it’s what youth sports are supposed to be.
Every weekend, when I sit in the stands and watch my daughter, I experience a moment where a lump forms in my throat.
Over the past 10 years or so, sometimes when at my kids’ games I’d tense up and brace myself. Will they play or will I have to soothe them after they sit the bench and the disappointment that comes with that?
Or will there be that look of fear that crosses their face when they make a mistake, or anticipatory fear that they will mess up? The pressure they put on themselves has certainly been visible.
Listening to other parents in the stands yelling at their kids, coaching from the sidelines, also creates stress for me. If I’m feeling that way, I can’t imagine what the kids playing are feeling.
It’s become unbearable at times.
Sports are supposed to be fun, right?
Yet today youth sports are mostly adult organized with an emphasis solely on winning. The expectations have become too high, and many young athletes are suffering. Instead of joy, their minds race with anxiety.
So, being able to sit and actually enjoy watching my kid play a sport? It’s been eye opening for sure. Particularly after she botched a play. Instead of hitting the ball over the net, it sailed right into it. Normally her head would be down, or her hands would go to her hips in frustration.
Instead, she turned to her teammate, who encouraged her and told her it was okay. My daughter then smiled, shrugged it off and moved on.
Athletic careers are fleeting, even for the pros — unless of course you are a freak of nature like Tom Brady who has discovered some sort of magic elixir that involves avocados.
Some kids play for a year, some move on in middle school. The numbers shrink in high school while a few may go on to play in college. It’s such a blip in one’s life, yet so many act as if youth sports are a life-or-death situation.
Participation in athletics is supposed to be a positive experience that helps kids create friendships, build confidence, self-esteem, develop leadership skills and conflict resolution.
Parents and coaches should focus more on creating positive environments and keep the competition in perspective.
Heather Michonski is a weekly columnist for The Country Gazette and Wicked Local. She can be reached by email at harrisheatherl@gmail.com.
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