Dear Mark … Are you actually going to struggle a blended martial arts cage match with Elon Musk? It sounds just like the plot of a nasty ’90s cyberpunk novel or an outtake from Idiocracy. I’ve to consider this can be a huge troll by the 2 of you—my bullshit detector is screaming like a banshee. But there are disturbing indications this isn’t a joke.

This week you were training with UFC champions. According to The New York Times, you and Musk have been in touch with Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, to arrange the bout, almost definitely within the Las Vegas Octagon. “It will be the biggest fight in the history of combat sports,” White stated.

If the matchup occurs, it might additionally decrease the bar for what passes as civilization in our society. Just in case that is actual: I implore you, don’t do that.

I can see that you’ve develop into a health nut, Mark. You not too long ago aced the Murph challenge, which includes a complete lot of calisthenics and sweating. Instagram posts have appeared with pictures of your swole bod. Last month, you advised your favorite podcast interlocutor, Lex Fridman, that the majority of your coaching goes towards combating and that you’ve recruited mates and Meta colleagues for a casual coaching circle, like a middle-aged nerd model of the after-school coaching camp in The Karate Kid. Hey, no matter works to alleviate the stress of working Meta! I perceive.

But this Musk factor isn’t a respectful bout within the grand custom of Zen or Jedi masters. It’s a distempered twist to a failed enterprise relationship turned nasty and private. Remember, Mark, I was there when it began! That was in Nigeria, while you realized that Musk had put your satellite tv for pc on a rocket earlier than the testing was completed, and the whole thing exploded. You had been steamed—and issues haven’t been nice between you since. More not too long ago Musk realized you had been planning to launch a competitor to Twitter, which he purchased for $44 billion however has since watched plummet in worth. That’s when Musk issued the cage-match problem, which you rashly, tragically accepted.

You and Elon have indicated that a few of the pay-per-view funds from this battle royale will go to charity. Sorry, you don’t get to sugarcoat this so simply. You and Elon are among the many two richest individuals on the planet. With a swipe of your telephone you might divert just a few billion {dollars} to any humanitarian trigger you select, together with your individual Zuckerberg-Chan Initiative, which seeks to eliminate all disease. Charity is an excellent expression of humanity’s finest qualities; this battle can be nothing lower than a reversion to the basest impulses of our species.

In any case, depart it to Elon to say out loud the actual subtext of this glorified schoolyard scrap. In a tweet this week, he urged that he and it is best to have a “literal dick-measuring contest.” That’s the extent of sophistication this rivalry sits at now. Instead of defining yourselves by your historic technological and company achievements, you two are striving to settle disputes like cavemen.

Here’s what’s much more alarming: Hand-to-hand fight is an concept that’s catching on among the many tremendous wealthy. During this week’s mega-elite mogul-fest in Sun Valley, Marc Andreessen, a longtime member of Meta’s board, reportedly endorsed the Elon-Zuck bout and, according to Puck’s report, went additional, calling for a “return to how humans have historically defended themselves.” He went on to induce dad and mom to “train their children in martial arts in anticipation of an increasingly violent and uncertain world.” (All that is type of odd coming from a billionaire. In my remark, the ultra-rich often journey with non-public safety that dramatically lowers the chances of some tech-hating Bruce Lee wannabe laying on them with fists of fury.)