This was one recent morning when the state’s governing body of high school athletics all but resorted to a coin flip to gauge whether fall sports should exist in 2020. Another state media outlet captured a photo of a student protesting outside CIAC headquarters holding a sign, “sports define me.”

Red flag.

Redder than the Nebraska football stadium on a fall Saturday.

This just in: No one thing should define us. And the idea that this kid — I doubt he’s alone — believes this about himself ought to give all of us pause about value systems based on anything other than values. You know. Values. The oldies but goodies: honesty, humility, self-respect, vulnerability …

The photo prompted a little research into the way COVID-19 has hijacked the games kids play in recent months. The results are disturbing.

The University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health conducted a survey of high school athletes across the nation, finding “COVID-19 has taken a significant toll on the mental health and well-being of adolescents.”

The study, “completed by a team of physicians, child health experts and researchers from, found that approximately 68 percent of the 3,243 student-athletes surveyed reported feelings of anxiety and depression at levels that would typically require medical intervention.”

Most forward thinking folks understand that sports, always awash in lessons of sacrifice and teamwork, produce quick decision-makers in formidable situations, while surrounded by people with varying engagement, motivation and interest levels.

One doctor associated with the aforementioned study said, “We know that exercise and physical activity are powerful antidepressant and anti-anxiety interventions, and we strongly encourage public health experts and school administrators to thoughtfully consider both the benefits and risks of prolonged school closures and sport cancellations. We hope that any plan moving forward addresses not only our kids’ physical health and safety, but their social development and emotional well-being as well.”

I won’t argue with that. But I believe we are missing another byproduct sports teach us that should obviate using sports as this cosmic thermometer of our kids’ psyches:

Sports teach us that sometimes, things don’t go the way we want. And we need to learn from failure. We need to learn from loss. We need to understand that sports are a tool — a metaphorically rich tool, sure — but that they don’t represent a civic duty or a barometer for mental health. They are not essential, no matter how badly kids and parents clamor for them.

Loosely translated: We need to start teaching our kids better.

The words of author Mark Manson:

“I believe we are facing a psychological epidemic, one in which people no longer realize it’s OK for things to suck sometimes,” Manson wrote in “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A (Hoot),” a New York Times best seller.

“Some suffering is always inevitable — that no matter what you do, life is comprised of failures, loss, regrets and even death. Once you become comfortable with all the stuff life throws at you, you become invincible in a sort of low-level spiritual way. After all, the only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it.”

And we need to teach kids ways to bear it that involve something other than throwing a football.

Whether we have a high school sports season doesn’t preclude kids from playing sports. Sports needn’t be organized with referees, scoreboards and public address announcers to impart their wisdom. Go to the park with your buddies and a ball. Play.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Sometimes, I wonder if kids who say sports “define” them haven’t been taught as much at home.

This has been lousy for all of us. I miss Cannamela Field on a Friday night or the ‘X’ at Waterford in the winter. Sports are about unwritten scripts and opportunities for social engagement. For entertainment and potential scholarship. You miss it. I miss it. We all do.

But the idea that it would “define” any of us — or that kids have mental health issues stemming from a lack of opportunity in a pandemic — is frightening.

As Mark Manson said, “After all, the only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it.”

Let’s start learning. It begins at home.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro